Too Much Processed Everything Is Bad For My Health

You would think that I would think twice about some of the things I've been buying and eating lately, but I haven't been. Between not being able to work out like I would like to because of my plantar fasciitis and the recurring hamstring problems, I've not been giving too many *&%@ lately. I've been wanting comfort food and seasonal treats, and boy have I been eating them. The problem is, I didn't realize just how not comforting they have been. I have always had eczema, but these last couple of months it has been unbearable. I will do anything and everything to stop the itching, and it isn't pretty: anti-itch spray, cortisone creams, spraying with Biofreeze, you name it. I even found out the hard way that BenGay cream contains lanolin, which I am allergic to. I don't know if it always did and I didn't know, but boy, I was surprised.

The problem with eczema is that they really don't know what causes it. Long term cortisone use isn't the best thing, and truthfully, it doesn't really work all that well. Something made me think today that there might be a connection between all of the sugar and white foods I've been eating lately and how bad my itching has gotten lately. I stumbled upon an article in Natural News that indicated that there is a link between eczema and Candida overgrowth.

Eczema affects people on a wide spectrum of frequency and intensity. Some people have a mild itch and rash for a few hours, which doesn't return for weeks or months. Other people experience intense itching for long periods of time that causes them to tear their skin open resulting in blisters and oozing lesions that then crust over and create scarring.
There have been a couple of recent studies showing the link of Candida overgrowth with eczema. Some of the causes of Candida overgrowth include diets high in processed and refined diets (white sugar, white rice, white flour) along with frequent use of antibiotics. These issues create a perfect environment for Candida to flourish within our bodies. This can develop into dysbiosis and leaky gut syndrome explaining the overachieving immune responses resulting in skin inflammation, allergies and asthma.


White sugar - check (damn, and those mint chocolate cookies I got at TJs yesterday were so good)
White rice - check - had some with the curry I made this weekend
White flour - check, check, and check - dressing and rolls at Thanksgiving, bread pudding, noodles, fettuccine several times this week, Ritz crackers (don't judge), toasted bagel thin, etc.
Fermented foods - check - wine, kombucha, vinegar, pickles

I have been eating way too much of this lately, and this is part of the result:

All of those circles are areas where it is really awful. Trust me, it actually looks worse in person. So basically, my whole hand itches, my forearms underside itch, my face itches. I know I need to get my eating back on track. What is really frustrating is that I have been trying to not eat as much meat as I used to, which is one of the reason so many carb-y things have snuck back in to my diet.

I can't wait until the New Year to resolve to eat better, I need to do it now just to save my sanity and my skin. Whole foods, lots of greens and cruciferous veggies, lots of water, eating what is healthy for my whole body. I'm off to menu plan.

On race results and being a slow runner

I am a slow runner. There. I said it. Sometimes I can walk faster than I can run. I read an article this morning that said "There is no difference between the runner who breaks 30 minutes for the 5K for the first time and the one that breaks 16 minutes." My comment to that was that I would be happy to break 35:00 for a 5k. Another comment was that if you finish last there are more people to cheer for you. Maybe if it's a big race, but if it's a small race, I've experienced seeing people driving home while I have had to wait for car traffic to pass, not the other way around. That particular race was one of the worst I'd ever experienced. Now that I'm actually running (I use that term loosely) again, this conversation and article got me thinking about my race times. I dug up the index card I started writing out race results on, looked up a couple of more recent ones (though I was unable to find my results for the 2013 Bold In The Cold 5k) and added them to my card.I actually have broken a 35:00 5k. Once. Go me.

Run For Retrievers 5K (05.22.10)  - 41:02.7
Firefly Run 5K (10.16.10) - 36:41.23
White Rock Half Marathon (12.05.10) - 2:58:28
Bold In The Cold 5K (01.15.11) - 39:24
Rock N Roll Half Marathon (03.27.11) - 2:46:43
Run For Retrievers 5K (05.14.11) - 34:08
Medal Of Summer 5K (06.25.11) - 37:34
Liberty By The Lake 10K (07.04.11) - 1:31:21
Veteran's Day 10K (11.12.11) - 1:18:27
Bold In The Cold 5K (01.07.12) - 39:47.7
Wounded Warrior Half Marathon (06.10.12) - 3:13:00
Bold In The Cold 5K (2013 - can't locate race results)
Run For Retrievers 5K (09.14.13) - 43:31
Rock N Roll Half Marathon Relay (03.23.14) - 1:32.55
Irving Half Marathon (04.05.14) - TBD
 
It's very slow going, getting back to running after taking so much time off. Some races are slow because it's so stinking hot out during the summer in Texas, and the goal is simply to finish. Other races are slow because I'm run/walking intervals. So, yeah, I'm slow, but I'm still running.
 

There is no difference between the runner who breaks 30 minutes for the 5K for the first time and the one that breaks 16 minutes. Both worked hard, sacrificed to achieve their goal, and experienced the same challenges.
Read more at http://womensrunning.competitor.com/2014/04/training-tips/if-you-run-slow-who-cares_22791#Qp3xAlEV7GaFCYLM.99

There is no difference between the runner who breaks 30 minutes for the 5K for the first time and the one that breaks 16 minutes. Both worked hard, sacrificed to achieve their goal, and experienced the same challenges.
Read more at http://womensrunning.competitor.com/2014/04/training-tips/if-you-run-slow-who-cares_22791#Qp3xAlEV7GaFCYLM.99

There is no difference between the runner who breaks 30 minutes for the 5K for the first time and the one that breaks 16 minutes. Both worked hard, sacrificed to achieve their goal, and experienced the same challenges.
Read more at http://womensrunning.competitor.com/2014/04/training-tips/if-you-run-slow-who-cares_22791#Qp3xAlEV7GaFCYLM.99

It's been thirteen years since we lost you

It's hard to believe this, but it's true. Today is the thirteenth anniversary of my father's passing. The pain is still there, but the crazy chaos that is daily life somehow dulls it. Not that it's less, but that there's so much "noise" that you can't hear or feel everything at once. I'm reminded more of his loss because I am running in the Rock N Roll Half Marathon here in Dallas with Team In Training in March. So many people have been touched by leukemia and lymphoma. I wish I wasn't one of them, but I am. If my fundraising helps spare even one family the heartbreak of what my family went through, then it's worth my every effort. If you are at all able, please consider making a donation to help me with my fundraising efforts. http://pages.teamintraining.org/ntx/momsnt14/KyraStuart

1935 - 2001

New Month, New Start

It's still a bit dark out as I sit here writing this post. This very unexpected post. I know I've let myself slip these past couple of months, but I didn't realize how far down the rabbit hole I'd fallen. (Hi, Hoppities!) To be fair, I know a couple of pounds are from water weight because we went out to Abuelo's for dinner last night with a friend. Never go to Abuelo's when you're famished. Their chips and salsa are fantastic, and very easy to suck down.


But I digress. The good, the bad, the ugly.


Height: 5' 5" (in flats)
Weight: 182
Waist: 35
Hips: 42.5
R: 25.5
L: 25


There you have it. I am 3 pounds heavier than I was when I first joined Weight Watchers in October 3 years ago, and 20 pounds more than I was at the end of the summer. But, it's a new month and a new start. Luckily, I actually can still fit in my running gear, because this morning, in an hour and a half, I will be participating in my first group run with the Team In Training Moms In Training chapter. (Yes, I know, I'm not a human-mom, but dog-moms count, too.) Today will be 45 minutes, slow and easy. This won't be easy, it won't be pretty, but I'll be off my ass and moving towards a better, healthier me. Wish me luck.

Auld Lang Syne

'Tis the season to reflect on the year that is coming to its close. For the last couple of years, the reflecting hasn't been easy or comfortable. I never really got back on track with my working out and tracking my eating in 2013 after going off the rails in late 2012, after we lost my mother-in-law. I'm still somewhat active, with walking dogs and doing stuff at our ranch, but it isn't goal driven activity.  I feel like I was a different person that year, and truthfully, I kind of miss her.  So, to borrow the words of the great poet Robert Burns, she's an old acquaintance who shouldn't have been forgotten.

Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind ?
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and old lang syne ?


A friend recently posted about the pendulum swing of the Gemini psyche. It made me think about how my own pendulum has swung too far away from "health" mode and I've gotten off balance. I'm not happy about it, either. Emotional eating doesn't make the stress go away, it just adds something else to make me unhappy and stressed out about.

It's time to dust off my running shoes, charge up my Garmin, and take back control of my whirlwind life. Extra motivation comes from the fact that I registered for a half marathon in April, so I don't want to waste the money by not training. I've also contributed to a yoga Kickstarter program that debuts this spring. I've meant, time and time again, to start practicing yoga, so this will also be motivation. Hopefully nagging from another friend will help, too. Another area I need to focus on is healthy eating, cutting back on the grains and junk foods that I know aren't healthy for me. I used to eat so much better, but I really have let things slide this year. And no more GF goodies, either. Just because it's gluten free doesn't mean I should be eating it.

And there’s a hand my trusty friend !
And give me a hand o’ thine !
And we’ll take a right good-will draught,
for auld lang syne.

May you have a blessed 2014.

The Whole 30 hasn't been pretty

From reading people's accounts of how they felt while doing the Whole 30, I expected great energy, sleeping well, clear skin, overall, feeling pretty good. My energy has been good, I've been sleeping okay, but clear skin and feeling good? Nope. It could be anything from a sensitivity to coconut oil, yeast overgrowth die-off, toxins leaving the body like rats leaving a sinking ship. I don't know.  All I know is that my eczema went from moderate to horrible in two weeks, and I'm miserable. I've gotten it on my face before, but only on one eyelid. Certainly not all over it. I look like I've been in a brawl. My eyes are puffy and red, I've got itchy patches under my eyes, and on my jawline, and my lips are terribly cracked at the corners, are chapped, and they burn. It's worse on my hands, too. The section on my middle finger is so bad that the skin over my knuckle has split.

 

So, I've decided to not continue restricting what I'm eating so severely. I will continue to eat whole foods, no junk food, no sugars, but I will be adding back in some whole grain products and some dairy. If Whole 30 works for you, great. It's helped me get off of a plateau, but I'm suffering in other ways. I need to be healthy on the outside as well as the inside.

I have to rant about something.

I need to get something off of my chest. I've been a member of Weight Watchers for over a year and a half. Sometimes I do well, sometimes I don't do well. I know exactly whose fault it is if I have a bad weigh in. Sometimes I eat crap. It's a fact of life. To paraphrase something that a leader said recently, "you didn't get to where you are now by eating too much fruit." No, most of us didn't. Some people got there by eating too much fried food. Some people got there by eating too much snack food. And some people got there by eating too much candy. I know, everything in moderation. But for crying out loud, who eats one cubic morsel of fudge when they've made AN ENTIRE PAN????

So I have to tell you, it really pisses me off to see them promoting a marshmallow fudge recipe. I refuse to even consider this a "healthier" version.  I don't care (actually, I do, because too many of these ingredients are processed crap) if you're using cooking spray to make each piece have fewer calories. I don't (see above) care if you're using light butter or margarine to make each piece have fewer calories. I don't care if you're using fat free evaporated milk to make each piece have fewer calories. No one needs to be eating something that has close to two cups of sugar AND 14 large marshmallows. Some of the people I see at meetings have real health issues. They're diabetic, they're on multiple medications. Eating stuff (I refuse to call it food) like this can be dangerous for them. And get real. You're pouring the stuff in to an 8x8 pan and the instructions are to cut this in to 36 pieces? They have got to be kidding. (Just how many of the uneven and irregular pieces end up on the cook's mouth, and not on a plate to "share" with everyone else in their family?? "Oh, no, the recipe only makes 24 pieces, not 36...it's all here.") And each piece is costs you 3 points?  If they want to provide alternatives, how about tell people to eat a few chocolate chips. That's the least offensive ingredient in the recipe. (It should be noted that I like chocolate chips and have, upon occasion, done just this.)

Studies show that the average person consumes over 100 pounds of sugar EACH YEAR. Is it any wonder people have health issues?

Go do yourself a favor. Don't make this. If you want something chocolate, go eat a piece of chocolate. And make it a real piece of chocolate. The good stuff. Don't waste your points on a bunch of processed crap. I have never heard anyone call marshmallows healthy.

End of rant.

Whole30 Day 1 Wrap Up - Well that sucked.

So, yesterday was day 1 of #Whole30. I ate well. I had my egg foo yung for breakfast, black coffee. For lunch I had two Applegate Farms organic (no nitrites, uncured, grass fed, etc) hot dogs and kale sautéed in coconut oil w/garlic. For dinner I had steamed chicken and broccoli, with coconut aminos and cayenne pepper. I had a peach as a morning snack and a handful of raw pistachios in the afternoon. Aside from the black coffee, I just drank water yesterday. When I plugged everything in to my eTools on Weight Watchers, I found out that I underestimated the points value for the hot dogs and was actually under my daily points. Well, that never happens. Since I couldn't make a meeting last night I went and weighed in during my lunch hour. Up from 167.7 in the a.m. to 171. This morning I was 169.9. (Yes, I know we aren't supposed to be weighing ourselves all the time, I just wanted some positive feedback after one day of clean eating and a crappy sleepless night. Didn't get any.)

I went to bed early (for me if I'm not falling asleep on the sofa, only to wake up at 2am and head to bed) so that I could get up early and take the dogs for walks before the sun came up. Didn't happen. That was one of the WORST nights sleep I can recall having in a long time. It was one of those "I'm lying here, in the dark, with my eyes closed, but I know I'm not asleep" kind of nights. When I did get some sleep, or what passed as sleep, I had these really weird dreams.

Needless to say, I'm really dragging today. Since it will be over 100 again today, I won't take dogs out until the sun sets. I just might be napping during lunch today. Or menu planning.

My adventures in tracking

Note to self: GET THE CHOCOLATE OUT OF THE HOUSE!!!

I really wish I didn't like chocolate. I wish my husband didn't either. I racked up more points in chocolate yesterday than I did in wine.

Breakfast:

coffee w/fat free half and half - 0
2 eggs - 4
2 T reduced fat cheese - 1
1 T poblano pepper - 0
3/4 cup mushrooms - 0
1 t coconut oil - 1

Morning Snack:

1/2 small avocado - 2

Lunch:

3 oz chicken breast - 3
1 T Kraft fat free mayo - 0
1 apple - 0

Afternoon Snack:

Smoothie (banana, berries, unsweetened almond milk) - 1

Dinner:

4 oz grilled steak - 5
3 oz grilled scallops - 2
3 oz grilled shrimp - 2
2 glasses wine - 9
veggies - 0

Late Snack:

Hershey's chocolate - 9

Once again, I managed to rack up 40 points.

Hopefully I'll do better today.

Am I inspired? Ask me after my workout today...

This is kind of a catch 22 for me. Am I inspired to work out? Not always, no. Do I feel better if I do? Usually, I do. These days, though, it's taking several days for the muscle soreness I feel after working out with my trainer to go away. I had every intention of going to a yoga class at my gym last night, since The Aussie and I were planning on celebrating Valentine's Day tonight, anyway. I didn't go. I was still too sore from the core workout I did on Wednesday afternoon. Heck, I'm still sore today, and I have to go back and train with him again this afternoon.  I don't feel super guilty for not going to yoga, because I did start up C25K again yesterday morning, so I got a workout in. But I did want to go to the class.  How do you deal with delayed onset muscle soreness? Do you push through it and end up even more sore or do you rest another day or two?

Epiphany

Epiphany (feeling)

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

An epiphany (from the ancient Greek ἐπιφάνεια, epiphaneia, "manifestation, striking appearance") is an experience of sudden and striking realization. Generally the term is used to describe breakthrough scientific, religious or philosophical discoveries, but it can apply in any situation in which an enlightening realization allows a problem or situation to be understood from a new and deeper perspective. ...

Epiphanies are relatively rare occurrences and generally following a process of significant thought about a problem. Often they are triggered by a new and key piece of information, but importantly, a depth of prior knowledge is required to allow the leap of understanding.



Yesterday was the celebration of Epiphany at church. The sermon got me thinking about the other meaning of the word epiphany and what the Pastor called "Ah-ha moments." Granted, he's talking about spiritual ah-ha moments, but I started thinking about other types.

I can gripe all I want about not making any progress, but until I actually make myself accountable for what I am doing to myself, nothing is going to change. Part of the new Weight Watchers program, Weight Watchers 360, is about implementing small steps so that they become routines. I have to admit to myself that I have really been lax with tracking. The two weeks in Australia became two more weeks at home without attending meetings. Tracking went out the proverbial door for the month of November. It's been difficult getting my head back in the game, but I have to stop fooling myself. If I keep crap in the house, I'm going to eat it. When we were out on Saturday, I bought myself a Subway combo meal. The sandwich was fine, I had water, but I also selected a small bag of Cheetos. Before opening the bag, I did look up the points. 9 points for a little bag. So, I said, not worth it. But I kept it in my pocketbook anyway. Funny how that little bag opened itself and hopped in to a bowl last night. Granted, I didn't eat all of it, but I made the stupid choice to open it up and start eating Cheetos. Stupid, stupid, stupid. So an ah-ha moment is that I can't have this in the house if I want to succeed at getting healthier and losing weight. Another moment is that I have to stop fooling myself on how much I'm eating and drinking and I need to accurately track and measure what I'm eating. The program won't work if I don't actually follow it. So here's to a fresh start in a new year, new month, new week. Today's a new day. What happened yesterday doesn't need to affect what happens today.

Peace.

Kyra

A recent FB post

Feeling very out of sorts, I posted the following on FB on Saturday morning:

You probably don't know how painfully shy the person who showed up at your club's group run is. Or how far out of her comfort zone she was. Last year, when she showed up for a run, people were welcoming, so she thought she'd be okay. A couple of you said good morning as you walked past her, but after 10 minutes of standing there, nervously clutching her water bottle, feeling anxious and out of place, with no one talking to her, she left. But you probably didn't notice that.


The supportive comments this post received meant a lot to me. You see, not everyone knows how shy I am. It took a lot for me to even drive to this group run. When I got there, it took a lot for me to get out of the car. I seriously considered turning around in the parking lot and just driving home. But I didn't. I metaphorically put on my big girl panties and got out of the car. I slowly walked to the club house, and nervously said good morning to the people who were already there. A couple of people acknowledged me, but most didn't. The few women that were there just continued on in their conversation as if I was invisible. And that's what I felt like. Invisible. I toughed it out for several more minutes, feeling more and more like a loser the longer I stood there. Funny how the big girl panties can quickly disappear in situations like this. Finally, feeling a panic attack coming on, I walked away from the club house, back to the car. I managed to drive away (past the club house, mind you) and get down the road a bit before I started crying. 

When I got home, it was not even 7:30, so The Aussie was still in bed. I climbed in beside him, doggies hopping on the bed to snuggle with us. He asked what time it was and I said 7:30. Puzzled, his asked "aren't you going?" I told him I was back. He asked what happened. While he's a very outgoing person, he knows how difficult things like this are for me. He just held me as I cried while telling him what had happened. He told me that I at least made the effort and that was what was important.

It was important. I made the effort. But I won't be again. Oh, I'll show up for races that this group puts on a couple of times a year, but I won't be showing up for group events. Want to hear something funny? When I was half asleep not long ago I thought about why I sign up for races. This is going to sound pathetic, but part of it is the pictures of groups of friends all running together, wearing goofy costumes, having fun. It's like I'm still the nerdy little kid, always picked last for the team, looking at a group of friends from the other side of the chain link fence. I want to be a part of their popular group. But I'm not. A dear friend left this comment to my post ... When you are out there in a race it is just you and the pavement. You have everything you need inside you right now... She's right. I do have everything I need inside me. I'll be fine. Just me and the pavement.

Quality vs Quantity

Many of you who chat with me on Twitter and FB know that The Aussie recently went to Australia because his mother is very ill. He's back now, which I am immensely grateful for. This continues to be a very difficult and sobering time for us. We are experiencing first-hand that a person's quality of life is as important as quantity of life. We don't quite know how to deal with the tipping point where quantity means little without quality. Being poked, prodded, hooked up to machines, in pain, and in the hospital is not quality, and we accept that. But we don't want to miss the quantity either. We don't want to say goodbye...

Gee, is there anything else to add to the list?

Last night was not a good night for me. For the last couple of years I've been occassionally getting these strange "attacks" while eating. I basically become unable to swallow any food, and what I have eaten won't stay put. At first I thought it was just because I have a tendency to eat too quickly. Then I thought it was because I eat quickly and, if I'm eating at the coffee table, which is more likely than not, I'm hunched over a bit. Stopping eating doesn't help, sitting up straight and rubbing my upper chest to make it feel better doesn't help, my husband's offer of a drink of water is the last thing I want when it's happening. The results are not fun, to put it mildly. Now it looks like it's something a bit more than either of those things. I'm going to have to put on my big girl panties and go to the doctor to get tests done to confirm this, but all indications point to this possibly being eosinophilic esophagitis. (Strange coincidence, The Aussie's boss was tested for this earlier this year, which is how we found out about this condition. The Aussie described what was going on with me and the boss told him that he's been suffering the same thing.)

According to several websites, EE may be linked to food allergies. The list is not encouraging, for someone who really likes food: milk, eggs, peanuts, shellfish, peas, beef, chicken, fish, rye, corn, soy, potatoes, oats, tomatoes and wheat. The most common food triggers are milk, egg, wheat, rye and beef.

I'm not a vegetarian, for @#*%$'s sake. Granted I've joked that I'd give up meat before I'd give up my wine, but really??? Last night for dinner I made chicken paprika, which I LOVE. So, let's see what's on the trigger list, shall we? Chicken - check, milk - check, wheat and egg (noodles) - check, tomatoes - check. About the only things in the dish that aren't on this list is the paprika and the onion. I can joke that at least I didn't use up all of my WW points yesterday, but I actually would have liked to eat my dinner.

I'm not sure what to do about this. My primary protein sources are chicken, egg, dairy, fish, shellfish and beef. I like tofu as well, but soy is on this list too. Am I supposed to eat pork chops, barley and vegetables for the rest of time?

Sometimes...

Sometimes a finish is good enough. Last Saturday I ran (and I use that word very loosely since I walked for half of the race) the Liberty By The Lake 10k in The Colony, TX. Remind me next year that racing in July in Texas isn't the brightest idea. And doing a 10k (thank you very much trainer, Barbie's Evil Twin, for having to back out at the last minute) is really, really not a bright idea. It was very hot, very sunny, no breeze, no shade, and it was 95 by the time I was done. And boy, was I done. I finished second to last, with a time of 1:31:21. But I finished.

Burst Into Summer - week 1

The Shrinking Jeans Burst Into Summer bootcamp challenge is in full force this week. We started last week with a mini-challenge: hydration. It's been so stinking hot in Texas that hydration is super important. This week's mini-challenge is to make sure we eat breakfast every day this week. Also super important.

I don't know about you, but I find that I really have to condition myself to make changes if I want to continue to treat myself properly. Maybe it's a helpful reminder to go fill up your water bottle. Or maybe it's a mini-challenge issued to make sure you grab something, a yogurt, a Larabar, just something, for breakfast. (No, just a cup of coffee doesn't count as breakfast). Since I started working out with my trainer, I find that I really need to eat every couple of hours. Sunday, I made the mistake, after doing 6 miles in the morning) of not having enough to eat and hit a wall when The Aussie and I were at Cabela's (the doggies gave him a gift card for Doggy Daddy Day). Luckily, they have a food area and I was able to get a salad that had smoked turkey and hard boiled egg. I was a wreck.

Another thing I've discovered about myself is that I really need to track what I'm eating. Some times I'll log the food into my BodyMedia account, but at the very least, I'm tracking what I'm eating and drinking in an excel spreadsheet. It's helping me see where I could fit in a few more vegetables with my lunch, or perhaps a piece of fruit along with some protein for a snack. And I've also discovered that my idea of breakfast is very flexible. Some days, like today for instance, a greek yogurt with a half a cup of granola is what I feel like eating. Other days, I feel like having leftovers from dinner, or a sandwich made with a bagel thin or sandwich thin, some smoked turkey and a Laughing Cow wedge.

Today is W1D2 of the bootcamp portion of the challenge. We're doing the kind of exercises that boost your metabolism and work your core. It's been a while since I've done sprint intervals, and I have to tell you, I forgot how much they kick my butt. In a good way. And the side plank dips and one arm tricep extensions are good and challenging.

I've needed to be challenged. I've needed to get out of my slump. I've needed to push myself off of the plateau I've been on for a very long time. I'm headed in the right direction: today's weigh in was 170.6. Definitely the right direction, and I'm going to keep moving forward. Go Team 10!

Happy Birthday to Me :)

Well this is a nice birthday present to me. I haven't seen anything below 170 in quite a while. Now if only my husband hadn't thought my birthday was tomorrow... ;)

Can I Get A Few Do-Overs, please?

Warning: Grumpy too early in the morning rant coming up....

I just want to go back to sleep and start this day over again. Because I needed to beat the Texas heat (we're in for another 100 degree day) I was up at 5:30 to get dressed to go running. Not fun, in the first place. I'm dressed, water bottle filled, I go get my iPod and my Garmin. I strap on my Garmin and hit the power button. Then I hit play on the iPod. Hmm. The iPod isn't working. I thought I had put it on charge for long enough, but I guess not. Okay, I'll go without tunes - it won't be the first time. So I grab my water bottle and head out the door. At the bottom of the driveway I hit Start Timer on the Garmin, and off I go. A block and a half away, I realize that the Garmin isn't showing distance or pace. Just peachy. I stand there for 10 minutes trying to get a satellite lock, and it just.won't.do.it. By this time, the sun is coming up, and there are few things I dislike more than running in the sun when it's this warm out. I'll go without one of the two, but no iPod and no Garmin? It's a total first world problem, I know, but if I'm not going to run with no tunes and no tracking, I might as well be on the treadmill at the gym, where it's air conditioned. Two strikes against me. Sorry. Do Over #1.

I should note at this point that my trainer, Barbie's Evil Twin, would ask me if I wanted a straw so I could suck it up.

Back home I go. I let The Boy out of his crate, and all three dogs are circling me like furry land sharks. The Boy stands on his hind legs and puts his paws up to greet me. Very sweet. But then Puppygirl decides to give me an "up" too, resulting in me getting raked on my arm by her toenails. Ouch. Do Over #2.

I let the dogs out in the yard to do their business. I sit down on one of the patio chairs to hang out while they're busy. ShortStuff comes over and hops up on my lap to snuggle and give kisses. (I have to say, having a stronger core is good when a 35 pound dog hops up on your lap). We have a nice snuggle, but she starts squirming, so I lift her down. All her wriggling causes me to smack the top of my hand into the corner of the next patio chair. The heavy, metal patio chair. I really hope there were no neighbors in their backyards, 'cause a choice word came out of my mouth then. Loudly. Do Over #3.

Since I'm not going for a run, I have to at least take the doggies for their morning walk. Usually I take all 3 together. Let me tell you, that's an exercise in patience, core and arm strength. Puppygirl and The Boy are each around 68 pounds, and ShortStuff is 35 - I'm halfway to a sled team. This morning I decided to take Puppygirl first and then the other two. We've walked about a block when she needs to do her business. Afterwards, I'm bending down to pick up after her, when she starts in with the "kicking the grass behind her" thing. Just my luck to get a big clump of wet grass in the face. I am glad it was just grass, though. Do Over #4.

All this fun by 6:30 in the morning. I wanna go back to bed. Harumph.

Why Am I In A Rut?

I have mixed emotions about seeing all of the tweets about FitBloggin. On one hand, I'm getting such a kick out of seeing Tara's "Hi!" videos, seeing people I only know from their blogs and twitter together in one place. On the other hand, I see how far so many of them have come in this last year, and I know I haven't. This depresses me a bit. Plus, I'd love to be there with everyone, so that depresses me too.

I had my weigh in the other night. Weight was pretty much the same, measurements were pretty much the same... (though my thighs were less, which pleases me to no end) Everything is pretty much just that. The same. I've been losing and gaining the same 5 pounds for over a year. I'm working out plenty, so that leaves my eating. What is my deal? Why am I letting myself get away with this. I'm eating (fairly) healthy food, with a some indulges, but still eating too much of it. Tracking has been difficult for me too.

What am I afraid of? Why am I letting my comfort for the familiar get in the way of doing what I know, at least intellectually, is the right thing for me to do? How do I get the part of me that wants to succeed to push to the front of my brain and get things accomplished?

Would the alien in my brain please leave?

I seem to have come down with a serious case of "I don't give a crap." This past weekend was very busy, not lots of sleep, plenty to eat and drink, plenty of company. Sunday evening's post Easter dinner run got rained out and wasn't able to do one yesterday, so I knew I had to fit something in today before I meet with my trainer. This week's goal was to push myself longer before I took my first walking break because once I take a walking break it's harder to get myself to run for longer sections. I don't know what's going on with me. I made it half a mile before I took a 30 second walking break. I was huffing and puffing like I'd never run before. I started back up again, but I hadn't run more than a minute when I stopped. I realized that I didn't want to run, wasn't enjoying myself in the slightest, and didn't give a crap. So I stopped running. I finished my walk back home, less than 1.5 miles total, changed out of my running gear, and started a load of laundry. How's that for exciting. I, one of the least enthusiastic housekeepers in history, preferred to do a load of laundry rather than run. Quite truthfully, I am not very thrilled about going to the gym right now either, but I've paid for the training sessions, so I have to go. What evil little worm has gotten into my brain and made me not give a damn about something I've been doing for the last year?