Baby Steps

I've eaten a lot of race fees this past year. I didn't want to, but sometimes your body says no. Emphatically. Not even taking account how hot it gets in Texas during the summer, there are days where even taking dogs for walks is too much. My hamstring issue is better. Not gone, but better. The lack of energy is still there, and going strong. One side effect of peri-menopause that I never expected was zero energy because you can become anemic. When I remember to, I take iron supplements, but I'm terrible at remembering to take any sorts of pills. So, anything I do has to be in baby steps.


Which leads me to my new "training plan." I was so totally psyched when my Fitbloggin Bella teammate finished her half-Ironman the other week. Way to go Stephanie!! I was swimming back and forth the other evening in the pool when I got an idea. I'll do my own half-Ironman. It will take weeks to complete, but with baby steps, I believe I can do this.  My pool is small, just 23 feet long, including the half round step areas. I calculated (based on how I swim in the pool) that I will have to swim 158.4 laps to equal 1.2 miles for the swim portion of my half-Ironman. (I'll round up). I swam 40 laps (down and back equals 1 lap) on Monday evening. I'm looking forward to finishing the swim portion!  For the bike and run/walk portions, I'll do laps around my neighborhood. The three block loop section that I live on in my development is roughly 1 mile (1.1 on the outside sidewalk). This will be easy to track. I see people out running in the afternoon. To me, that's nuts. It's 100 degrees out. Not my idea of fun, so I'll be getting my ass out of bed earlier and take the dogs for walks while I log my miles.


Not glamorous, no cheering crowds, but baby steps on my way back to moving. 

Come Play In May - Write A Letter To Your Past Self

May 20, 1995

Dear Kyra,

I'm writing this letter to you on this very special day. I know you're rushing around, trying to get ready, so I'll be quick.

Have fun today. You look beautiful and happy. Don't be nervous. You two have many, many years together ahead of you. It won't always be easy, and yes, you'll do some stupid things, but you'll get through everything together. Always remember to kiss each other goodbye in the morning. Hug often, and say "I love you" frequently. You know it, but it's always nice to hear it said. Laugh together often. You are about to embark on a grand adventure with your best friend.

Love,

Kyra

P.S. He was right, chocolate cake was an excellent choice for the wedding cake. 

 

Warning: Rant Ahead. The food porn edition.

This isn't a "Come Play In May" post, but it certainly could have worked for Monday's prompt.

I'm going to go out on a limb and think that most of y'all have heard the term "food porn." According to Wikipedia, food porn is defined as follows: Food porn is a glamourized (their spelling, not mine) spectacular visual presentation of cooking or eating in advertisements, infomercials, cooking shows or other visual media,[1] foods boasting a high fat and calorie content,[2] exotic dishes that arouse a desire to eat or the glorification of food as a substitute for sex.[3] Food porn often takes the form of food photography and styling that presents food provocatively

No where, in this definition does it actually say that the person posting a picture that could be categorized as "food porn" actually ATE the food. If a friend wants to post a picture of bacon stuffed pancake on a stick, she can post a picture of bacon stuffed pancake on a stick. If you want to post pictures of the cookies you ate, or the salad you ate, go for it. I like looking at pictures of food as much as I like posting them. I wish my pictures looked nice, but that's another story.

I don't care where you and I are in our journeys, we aren't here to judge each other, and we'll get to where we're going when we're supposed to get there.

Why I Write

Day 1. Axis of Ineptitude Challenge.  Hmm. Why I write. I started this blog back in 2009 to earn points in a contest put together by the Fab Fatties. I had no clue about blogging, other than reading other peoples blogs. To tell the truth, I still don't have much of a clue, which is why I have unread books on how to set up your blog. No fancy tabs, no fancy buttons. Blogger changed settings on me a year ago, and I still can't figure out how to fix it. Conferences seem to focus only on WordPress. I have a WordPress site that I've posted on maybe twice. WP scares me. I really don't have a clue how to use it. But hey, I have a book or two. Unopened. I also have a secret blog, a ranch related blog, and a fun blog some friends and I have together. 

Why. Why do I write. Sometimes it's because I need to rant. Case in point, when I was still a member of the Watchers of Weight group, I got really pissed off at how they push desserts. Come off it people. You didn't get fat from celery sticks and low fat cheese. Using low fat versions of ingredients doesn't counteract the fact that the recipes were full of sugar. And who eats a one inch square of a dessert? Not me. I'll snarf down half a pan in one sitting. Which is precisely WHY I don't make sweets very often. If I'm hungry, and in "feed me bitch from hell" mode, you'd better not be between me and a pan of brownies.

Other times I need to talk about something that happened. Sometimes, it's something that inspired me. Lately, it's more likely to be something that knocked the wind out of my sails, like realizing the amount of weight I need to lose is the equivalent to the big-ass bag of pool salt I hauled out back the other day. For the most part, I keep it superficial. I admire bloggers who can really let it all hang out. I'm not one of them. Maybe it's because I'm an astrological screw up (Sun in Gemini, Moon and Rising Sign in Scorpio), but the thoughts and feelings than swirl around in the murky depths of my mind will stay right where they are, thank you very much.

Then there are the fun reasons I write. I like to cook, take pictures of my food, bore you with recipes. I don't consider myself the healthiest eater, but I'm trying to get better. Some days, I'd say I love to cook, but having to clean up the damned mess I make in the kitchen day in and day out really dampens my affection for cooking. If anyone wants to come clean up after me, I will be happy to say I love cooking again. I like to eat and drink lots of wine, too, which is why I also need to exercise.

Yeahhh, exercise...I like it, I hate it, I need to do it... meh. Maybe I'll start writing about exercise again...or start to. God knows I need to be accountable, considering I've registered for a marathon. That sentence both excites and scares me. Yay, lets go run lots and lots of miles and run a marathon before I turn 50. Which, if you didn't know, will be in the middle of next year. When the hell did I get this old?

Bottom line, I think I write to inspire myself. Face it, very few people even read my blog, so I doubt I'm inspiring them with my pearls of wisdom. Might as well be a smart ass and entertain myself! Oh, and since it's the first of the month: Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit. :)

Hey, if you want to play along, come join the fun.

Fortune Cookie Friday

To quote an old Disney song, a dream is a wish the heart makes. Several years back, it was my dream to complete a 5k before I turned 45. This might not sound like much to many people, but I didn't start running until I was 44. It was so hard in the beginning that I would make deals with myself that I could take a walk break when I reached the next mailbox, the next driveway, the next light pole... Eventually, I made it all the way to the stop sign. I was so thrilled the first time I ran a full block.

I took a couple of years off. Some of the time was forced time off because of injury, some of the time was me being a lazy lump. The lump has had her way too long. My waist and my ass have suffered because of it, too. Slowly, slowly, I have been rekindling my love of running, and my love of races. I tell you, signing up for races is a sickness!

So yes, this fortune cookie is telling the truth. My truth. Through greater effort and hard work a precious dream WILL come true. This dream is to complete a marathon before I turn 50.  The marathon in question, because I am envisioning that I *will* get registered for it, is the 2015 Disney World Marathon. I'm giddy just thinking about it. :)

Fortune Cookie Friday

The Universe works in mysterious ways. I run. I'm not fast, I'm not good, I don't particularly like running, but I run. To keep me motivated, I sign up for races. Sometimes I'm well prepared for them, sometimes I'm not. Some are virtual races to raise funds for awesome causes, some are in real life. Either way, races give me purpose. They give my training purpose, even when I don't feel like doing it. They give me a reason to get out and run, walk, hop on the elliptical to get some mileage. The give me a reason to get off of the couch or away from my computer. And that, my friends, equals success.

On race results and being a slow runner

I am a slow runner. There. I said it. Sometimes I can walk faster than I can run. I read an article this morning that said "There is no difference between the runner who breaks 30 minutes for the 5K for the first time and the one that breaks 16 minutes." My comment to that was that I would be happy to break 35:00 for a 5k. Another comment was that if you finish last there are more people to cheer for you. Maybe if it's a big race, but if it's a small race, I've experienced seeing people driving home while I have had to wait for car traffic to pass, not the other way around. That particular race was one of the worst I'd ever experienced. Now that I'm actually running (I use that term loosely) again, this conversation and article got me thinking about my race times. I dug up the index card I started writing out race results on, looked up a couple of more recent ones (though I was unable to find my results for the 2013 Bold In The Cold 5k) and added them to my card.I actually have broken a 35:00 5k. Once. Go me.

Run For Retrievers 5K (05.22.10)  - 41:02.7
Firefly Run 5K (10.16.10) - 36:41.23
White Rock Half Marathon (12.05.10) - 2:58:28
Bold In The Cold 5K (01.15.11) - 39:24
Rock N Roll Half Marathon (03.27.11) - 2:46:43
Run For Retrievers 5K (05.14.11) - 34:08
Medal Of Summer 5K (06.25.11) - 37:34
Liberty By The Lake 10K (07.04.11) - 1:31:21
Veteran's Day 10K (11.12.11) - 1:18:27
Bold In The Cold 5K (01.07.12) - 39:47.7
Wounded Warrior Half Marathon (06.10.12) - 3:13:00
Bold In The Cold 5K (2013 - can't locate race results)
Run For Retrievers 5K (09.14.13) - 43:31
Rock N Roll Half Marathon Relay (03.23.14) - 1:32.55
Irving Half Marathon (04.05.14) - TBD
 
It's very slow going, getting back to running after taking so much time off. Some races are slow because it's so stinking hot out during the summer in Texas, and the goal is simply to finish. Other races are slow because I'm run/walking intervals. So, yeah, I'm slow, but I'm still running.
 

There is no difference between the runner who breaks 30 minutes for the 5K for the first time and the one that breaks 16 minutes. Both worked hard, sacrificed to achieve their goal, and experienced the same challenges.
Read more at http://womensrunning.competitor.com/2014/04/training-tips/if-you-run-slow-who-cares_22791#Qp3xAlEV7GaFCYLM.99

There is no difference between the runner who breaks 30 minutes for the 5K for the first time and the one that breaks 16 minutes. Both worked hard, sacrificed to achieve their goal, and experienced the same challenges.
Read more at http://womensrunning.competitor.com/2014/04/training-tips/if-you-run-slow-who-cares_22791#Qp3xAlEV7GaFCYLM.99

There is no difference between the runner who breaks 30 minutes for the 5K for the first time and the one that breaks 16 minutes. Both worked hard, sacrificed to achieve their goal, and experienced the same challenges.
Read more at http://womensrunning.competitor.com/2014/04/training-tips/if-you-run-slow-who-cares_22791#Qp3xAlEV7GaFCYLM.99

Fortune Cookie Friday

One of my food "addictions" is take-out Chinese food. Before The Aussie and I moved down from the NYC area, I told friends that I was going to miss our local Chinese food place. "Oh, but there's such good barbeque in Texas." Yeah, like that's a good comparison. (I rarely eat barbeque) For the first few years, the only Chinese restaurants we found were buffet style, with not many menu options. Occasionally we would stumble upon a halfway decent Chinese restaurant, but nothing very close. Fast forward to about a year and a half ago, and viola! A take-out Chinese restaurant opens up about a mile away from us. Yay for me! As much as I like cooking, some nights I really don't want to or have the time to. And to let you in on a little secret of mine, I collect fortune cookie fortunes.

This is a vase that's almost half full of fortunes. I tell you, I've been saving them for a looonnng time. I was throwing crap out cleaning up in my office the other day and I came across some fortunes that I brought with me from my last office in NYC. Wow. They've been hanging out, collecting dust, not socializing with the other fortunes. So I popped them in the the vase with the others. Then I realized, why don't I make the fortunes earn their keep? So, I decided that Fridays will now be "Fortune Cookie Friday." I will pull a fortune out at random and write a blog post about it.

Here goes....

Ooh. This is a good one for the inaugural FCF.

True friends. These may be friends that you've known for years and years. They may be people you haven't met in person yet.  They may be friends that you've gotten to know online through the Fitbloggin FB group. True friends will have lend you a shoulder to lean on when you're going through difficult times. True friends will have your back when you are struggling to get back on track, but won't hesitate to give you a kick in the ass when you need it. True friends will yell your name across a crowded room before they rush over to give you a hug. True friends are people who "get you." They're your Tribe. True friends can be you, too. So give yourself a hug and go be awesome. 'Cause there's no off switch on Awesome.

A side effect of training with TNT that I didn't expect

Pain. No, not the "I did my long run yesterday and now I can't walk upright" pain, but the loss of a father pain. This week marked the 13 year anniversary since he passed away. I recently asked my mom to send me a copy of her favorite picture of my dad. It arrived yesterday and I immediately started sobbing when I looked at it. I love what TNT does for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, I just didn't realize that so much would come back up to the surface by becoming a part of one of their groups. Everything seems fresh, and the noise I mentioned the other day has faded in to the background, and the pain is so sharp. It really hurts, dammit. It seriously sucks. I'll keep pushing on, though, even when it's a struggle. Quitting won't bring him back and it won't make this hurt less. I'm just having a meltdown today, and I miss my Daddy.

New Month, New Start

It's still a bit dark out as I sit here writing this post. This very unexpected post. I know I've let myself slip these past couple of months, but I didn't realize how far down the rabbit hole I'd fallen. (Hi, Hoppities!) To be fair, I know a couple of pounds are from water weight because we went out to Abuelo's for dinner last night with a friend. Never go to Abuelo's when you're famished. Their chips and salsa are fantastic, and very easy to suck down.


But I digress. The good, the bad, the ugly.


Height: 5' 5" (in flats)
Weight: 182
Waist: 35
Hips: 42.5
R: 25.5
L: 25


There you have it. I am 3 pounds heavier than I was when I first joined Weight Watchers in October 3 years ago, and 20 pounds more than I was at the end of the summer. But, it's a new month and a new start. Luckily, I actually can still fit in my running gear, because this morning, in an hour and a half, I will be participating in my first group run with the Team In Training Moms In Training chapter. (Yes, I know, I'm not a human-mom, but dog-moms count, too.) Today will be 45 minutes, slow and easy. This won't be easy, it won't be pretty, but I'll be off my ass and moving towards a better, healthier me. Wish me luck.

Auld Lang Syne

'Tis the season to reflect on the year that is coming to its close. For the last couple of years, the reflecting hasn't been easy or comfortable. I never really got back on track with my working out and tracking my eating in 2013 after going off the rails in late 2012, after we lost my mother-in-law. I'm still somewhat active, with walking dogs and doing stuff at our ranch, but it isn't goal driven activity.  I feel like I was a different person that year, and truthfully, I kind of miss her.  So, to borrow the words of the great poet Robert Burns, she's an old acquaintance who shouldn't have been forgotten.

Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind ?
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and old lang syne ?


A friend recently posted about the pendulum swing of the Gemini psyche. It made me think about how my own pendulum has swung too far away from "health" mode and I've gotten off balance. I'm not happy about it, either. Emotional eating doesn't make the stress go away, it just adds something else to make me unhappy and stressed out about.

It's time to dust off my running shoes, charge up my Garmin, and take back control of my whirlwind life. Extra motivation comes from the fact that I registered for a half marathon in April, so I don't want to waste the money by not training. I've also contributed to a yoga Kickstarter program that debuts this spring. I've meant, time and time again, to start practicing yoga, so this will also be motivation. Hopefully nagging from another friend will help, too. Another area I need to focus on is healthy eating, cutting back on the grains and junk foods that I know aren't healthy for me. I used to eat so much better, but I really have let things slide this year. And no more GF goodies, either. Just because it's gluten free doesn't mean I should be eating it.

And there’s a hand my trusty friend !
And give me a hand o’ thine !
And we’ll take a right good-will draught,
for auld lang syne.

May you have a blessed 2014.

Spark: the journey

I don't like getting my picture taken. Some people photograph well. I am not one of them. The fact that, at one point, I was about 75 pounds overweight, was a factor, that's for sure. The fact that I'm actually posting pictures is nothing short of crazy for me. You'd better believe I edited pictures. A few of my friends in my Spark group posted pictures today of their journeys. Not before and after pictures, really, because as Susan said recently (I'm paraphrasing, please forgive me), "after ends in the grave." There is no after, because this will always be something I have to work at. The last two weeks have been frustrating. Between having and endoscopy last week and having the flu this week, I have been on the sidelines. Figures. So, to inspire me, I'm going to look at how far I've come, not how far I have left to go. Although, I think I do look cute in my Grand Canyon pictures.


 The blue shirt pictures were taken in 2007, late summer, when my mother in law was visiting from Australia. I think I've given away the v neck t-shirt, but I still have the button up blouse. Two things amaze me: first is how much that fit like a sausage casing in 2007, and second, how big it seemed this summer. I did wear it once, to church, but I actually tucked the blouse in to my black skirt. I don't know if this was me at my heaviest. Probably not. I don't look happy, and I certainly don't look comfortable.

 

 These pictures were taken in October of 1999. The Aussie and I took a much needed vacation and drove around the Southwest for two weeks. I'm in my mid-30s here, so the weight has started to creep on, but not enough to get me to do much about it. Oh, I'd join a gym every year or so, work out for a bit, maybe take classes for a bit. I wish I could write a letter to who I was then, or time travel like the nasty Senator in Time Cop did. He told his younger self to lay off the candy bars or twinkies. Something like that. I look at me here and I see what I aspire to get back to. I can do it. *knock on wood*

And this. This is me these days. Naively signing up for a DietBet, taking my picture in front of the mirror with their "word of the day." Life has a way of throwing plans aside. I won't be winning that bet, so I can kiss my $20 good bye. Oh well. I'm a work in progress. I'm certainly healthier than I was in 2007. The progress may take a bit longer than I'd like, but it is what it is. Besides, they moved the finish line for "after." It's no longer when I get to my goal. The finish line is a lot more permanent than that. So I'll just keep in mind, while I plod along my path: Forward is a pace.

Setbacks

Life has a way of throwing a wrench in the works, doesn't it. The scale is not my friend this week, but that really doesn't matter. I just returned from a two week overseas trip. While that may sound like a good thing, it wasn't. What was a good thing, is that we were able to spend time with my mother in law before she passed away. I indulged in plenty of stress eating, emotional eating, visiting with relatives eating.... and drinking. Let's not forget the drinking. I know I need to make healthy food and beverage choices. I know I need to move more. I know I need to make sure that my husband does the same. It all comes down to quality of life. I want the quality, for me and my husband, to be good. You see, I promised my mother in law that I would take care of my husband. I won't go back on that promise.

Don't be an Eeyore

He's cute and huggable, but don't be an Eeyore. I think he's the Debbie Downer of the 100 Acre Woods. When it comes to your health, don't think "why bother, I lost weight before and it all came back," or "I have so much to lose that I can't imagine it ever coming off."

Why bother? Because you deserve it. I had a pretty decent week this past week. I made it to my 20 pounds down goal, and I'm getting closer to my overall goal. The funny thing is, the weight I hit at weigh in this week is what I weighed when I joined Jenny Craig about 12 years ago. And the weight I was when I started Weight Watchers last October is close to what I weighed when I moved to Texas almost 7 years ago. Yes, you might regain some weight, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try. Life is a learning process, and not all lessons are easy.

And don't be a Pooh. Pooh isn't that great a role model either. A favorite poem of mine, from A.A. Milne, begins "A bear, however hard he tries, grows tubby without exercise. Our teddy bear is short and fat, which is not to be wondered at. He gets what exercise can can, by falling off the ottoman, and generally seems to lack, the energy to clamber back." I was a Pooh, before I started my journey to get healthy. It was a couch, not an ottoman, but the lack of energy was there. I don't always like working out. To be truthful, I'm really not that fussed with the trainer I have at the gym, but it's a small gym without many options. But I feel better when I do work out. No, it isn't easy, but it is worth it when you know you're getting healthier and stronger.

So, don't be an Eeyore. Be a Tigger.

New Month, New Goals

Sitting in my Weight Watchers meeting Saturday morning, I realized that something. I am not alone. Many of us fall off the wagon, stop tracking, lose any mojo they once posessed. I'm human, I make mistakes, I get injured, I get sidetracked. The beginning of a month is a perfect time to begin fresh.

A friend of mine recently celebrated 14 pounds down since she got herself back on track. I mentioned to her that I've been bouncing a few pounds around my 10%. The goal that I reached MONTHS ago. What is my deal? I am within 11 pounds of the Weight Watchers upper level goal range.  And what do I do? I pretty much stop tracking for a month. I am sabotaging myself for no good reason. Reaching a goal doesn't mean the work on what I eat and drink stops, I won't miraculously become a single digit size (though that would be awesome), and it doesn't mean that the training stops.

So, in the spirit of my fresh start, I am doing something I rarely do. I am posting my weight. No more  hiding. I need to make myself accountable. (Sorry for the sideways picture, I really am an amateur when it comes to blog formating. And yes, the red line on the top of my left foot is the scar left from my "incident" last month.) I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, I need to stay focused on me and my health, get back to tracking, meal planning, and making good choices that support my goal.

September has started out really well. Had a productive day Saturday(helping the local economy). I ordered a new pair of glasses and a pair of prescription sunglasses. We also got a new weedeater/trimmer. I'll admit it, I'm a dork. Sunday morning was Reunion with Communion at church. Four former members of our praise band who'd moved away in the last couple of years, returned for a reunion.The music was outstanding and moving. I cried when the former guitar player sang "You Lift Me Up." Our former pastor, who retired last summer, and his wife were there as well. I looked around during the greetings and remarked to the woman next to me that "this is the church I joined." The spirit in church was amazing. I need to keep that feeling within me.

Yesterday I had the option of working or not. I chose not, at least for my job. But work, I did, earing about 10 Weight Watchers activity points in the process. Bright and early, so as to avoid some of the heat, I headed to the community garden. I hauled up 4 large bags of organic soil, 2 large bags of soil conditioner, and 2 smaller bags of manure up to the garden (which is at the top of a small hill) so that I could work on my bed. Bermuda grass was pulled, swiss chard that I planted a year and a half ago was (finally) pulled, spent tomato plants were chopped down, soil and manure was spread, plant waste chopped up and hauled off to the dumpster, and my sweet potatoes were watered. Two hours later, I returned home, parched, tired, sweaty, and covered in dirt.  Labor accomplished, relaxation earned.

I hope y'all have had a wonderful and safe summer. I look forward to seeing you at Fitbloggin in a few weeks. September is going to be a great month! :)

Weight Watchers - week 15 update

Woo Hoo! I made my 10% goal at yesterday's weigh in. I was down 1.6 pounds.

The Simply Filling technique has really been working for me. I eat foods off of the power foods lists and I don't have to worry about points so much. Because I'm eating off of the power foods list, I'm not eating highly processed foods, full of preservatives and sodium. Win-win situation, in my book! Not every day is easy, and I'm still tempted by certain foods, but I'm trying not to get tripped by them.

Weight Watchers - week 14 update

It's been a while since I've posted a Weight Watchers update. As of yesterday's weigh in, I'm down 16.4 pounds. I'm currently obsessed with getting jeans that fit. The droopy drawers look is funny, but not very attractive. (Can someone tell that to all the guys who wear their pants around their asses and have boxers showing?) Not all days are easy to stay on plan. Last week I tried the Simply Filling Technique for 3 days. Friday was lunch at the restaurant run by a local cooking school. I planned ahead, because I knew I wanted the pork schnitzel with braised red cabbage and the chocolate mousse for dessert. Worth every bite. By the way, it's a serious bargain too. $10 for a 3 course meal. Check out cooking schools in your area and find out if they have a teaching restaurant.

On the recipe front, I made buttermilk roast chicken last night. I read about it over at Running Off The Reeses. It looked good, it smelled good, it tasted like regular roast chicken. So, I won't be posting it, but check out Smitten Kitchen if it sounds awesomesauce to you.

Finally, I've made a concious decision not to run the Hot Chocolate 15k this weekend. I'm not making any excuses. I'm not up with my mileage, and we have a lot going on. I'll still do some races this year, but I'm focused on other things right now. My mother in law's illness has made The Aussie and I to start to focus on new priorities.

Lessons in life from The Honey Badger

Lord help me, but the Kindle is a nifty invention. Last night, waiting for the HOA meeting to start, I pulled out my Kindle and began reading one of the many books on running that I've downloaded. This one, Marathoning For Mortals by John Bingham and Jenny Hadfield, has got me itching to race again. I'm feeling better, I did a slow and easy 5k last weekend, and it felt good. Next month I'm planning on doing a 10k at the scene of the July 4th race fiasco. This time, excuse the expression, I am going to make that race my bitch. I need to re-awaken my Inner Honey Bager.

Happy Birthday to Me :)

Well this is a nice birthday present to me. I haven't seen anything below 170 in quite a while. Now if only my husband hadn't thought my birthday was tomorrow... ;)

I Am Stronger

Yes, I am stronger. I am stronger than some others are petty. Maybe not at first, but I am working on it. You see, I have toyed with the idea of getting a 13.1 tattoo. During lunch today I entered "13.1 tattoo" into a search engine. Silly me thought that the search results would be of people talking about their own tattoos. As it turns out, the first two results were far different. It seems there are some people in the running community who think that getting 13.1 tattoos, Iron Man tattoos, 26.2 tattoos, 13.1 stickers for their cars and such are people to be laughed at and scorned. Somehow, our accomplishments are less, that what I take pride in completing is their mid-week run. That my putting a sticker on my car or wanting a tattoo celebrating an accomplishment makes me lame.

At first I felt hurt and ashamed. Maybe they're right, maybe I am just a silly jogger. Maybe wanting a tattoo or sticker for my car is stupid. There are so many out there who are much better than me, what right do I have boasting about what I've accomplished. Yeah. At first I felt that. Then I got pissed. Who the hell are they belittling others who are pushing themselves. Who the hell are they to berate others for stepping outside of their comfort zone and striving to make themselves more. Who the hell are they for calling us hobby joggers and lame triathletes with blogs who just don't f***ing get it.

I'll tell you who am I. I'm a badass hobby jogger with a blog who stepped out of her comfort zone and got off the effing couch and just finished her second half marathon. That's who I am. And if you don't like it, you can shut the eff up.